Mother May I

Last night I went over to my mother's apartment to catch up with her. I was accompanied by my very good friend Lauren. We enjoyed the fine tastes of sushi and wine. She caught me up on her and her fiance's plans, present and future. They expect to travel to Maui, Germany and Bora Bora over the next two years or so. I informed her on my plans and preparations for my trip to Europe, California and Burning Man. She seemed happy and supportive of this journey I am pursuing.

We then watched the video of my birth. To go from all this thought about life, self-discovery and exploration too watching myself being born was awe-inspiring. Here I am at this climatic mile stone in my life and I see the day I was brought into this world. My first cry. My first breath. My first urination, which just so happened to be all over my mother, after the doctor announced my male genitalia to the room. Then to see my Mother and Father both crying with laughter and excitement. My Father being there for my Mother as she pushed me through her loins. It was a site I hadn't witnessed in years. The love between my Mom and Dad. Then of course watching my brother hold me for the first time. All ginger like with his red hair and freckles. Not knowing what the hell to do with me except smile, with his two Bugs Bunny front teeth, at the camera. Needless to say I got emotional. I kept it together pretty well, but had I been alone and watching that I probably would have been balling as hard as I was on that heating table with the doctor slapping my ass.

I've acknowledged that these will be a few things I will mature in on an emotional level during my travels. The understanding that my mother will never be the person she had led me to believe she was for the first 19 years of my life. The acceptance of the person she now is and will continue to be for the rest of my life. To let go of the actions of my mother, during the time of my parents divorce, that affected me in ways that I am still trying to understand to this day. To add the last piece to the puzzle of closer on my parents separation.

Oh and I hope to begin a relationship with my Mothers fiance, after my travels and emotional growth. I have had no desire to establish any sort of recognition of the person he is since the day I met him 6 years ago. The second I shook his hand I knew something was a miss with this individuals presence in my life. But this is nothing to say of his character. He is an esteemed gentleman, who is well accomplished in his life and cares greatly for my Mother. I am lucky and happy to know that my Mom has someone like him in her life. But looking back I feel it was the foreshadowing knocking on my instinct's door trying to inform me of the debris that lay ahead on the tornado valley interstate that extended over the next 3 years.

Moving on, I have ticked some things off of my To Do list in preparations for my July 1st departure. I paid my balance to have the suspension of my license lifted. I started my car insurance back up. I put my truck up for sale (fingers crossed it sells quickly). I printed and filled out my passport application. I found a car that I am going to look at this weekend.

Today I will be picking up my insurance paper work. Getting the registration on my truck updated. Getting my passport photo taken and going to the post office to turn my application and associated legal documents in. I rough drafted a savings plan for myself and am excited to say that if I save properly over the next 6 months, I should have between 10 and 13 thousand for this trip. Which is more than enough expenses for this trip. But the more the merrier I say!

Burning Man update:
So tickets went on sale for Burning Man on the 19th of this month and already there have been 27,000+ people who have purchased their tickets. Crazy! The community of Black Rock City is something called a gift economy. Meaning that everyone contributes something to the community and expects nothing in return. I've began to think about what it is I want to give to the community of Black Rock City. I've thought of giving every person I see a hug. Or maybe I'll buy a Polaroid camera and take pictures of people who would like one as a souvenir. Maybe I'll hand out the link to this blog to share the documentation of the life I lived 8 months prior to my time at Burning Man. Hell I could do a different contribution for everyday I'm there. The limits of my imagination extend as far as the ends of the universe as to what it is I can contribute to the burners of Black Rock City. This simple fact fills me with excitement I'm unfamiliar with. The unknown is ahead....and that's all I can ask for.